Is marriage still considered "normal" by society?

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Red (Moderator)

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Post Date: Nov 01, 2009 03:10 AM
I'm sure there are plenty of singles on this forum who are wondering if they will ever find a partner and get married. Well I've been reading articles online, and I'm starting to notice a trend. People are marrying less and much later in their lives. The divorce rate in the U.S. is also really high. I think there is a tendency now for people to be apprehensive about marriage, and really cautious.

This got me thinking, is getting married and settling down still everyone's goal in life? Do you think it's normal for people to NOT get married, ever?

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yop666

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 12:00 AM
I think marriage is still considered normal, at least in Europe. However, the time when a lot of people had the goal to get married and to settle down is in my opinion over. Personally, I think my life would pretty damn boring if my goal was to get married and settle down. I want to get the most out of life and experience as much as I can and if along the way marriage comes up, that could happen but in no way it's a goal for me. To have kids yes, but that hopefully aint happening for a loooong time...

kieli

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 06:41 AM
Well, thankfully the U.S. is no longer a place where girls are sent to college for their MRS degrees, but I think it is still a prevalent milestone. I think in the U.S. it is much more of an issue of procreation rather than marriage. I mean, I have a couple friends who are really keen on getting married and lots more who have gotten married in the last few years, but what everyone talks about is pressure from their parents. Parents saying "You know, you don't need to marry to have kids...." or "I would really love a grandchild..." Red, just wait a few years, if you aren't in a serious relationship by then, considering your ethnicity and that you're the oldest son, I'm sure your parents will be driving you nuts about finding the right girl. Certainly my parents put the pressure on me! I wouldn't be surprised if marriage becomes less and less important, but I think the settling down bit will always be a big deal. It's pretty much biologically wired into us.

Red (Moderator)

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 02:13 PM
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Parents saying "You know, you don't need to marry to have kids...." or "I would really love a grandchild..." Red, just wait a few years, if you aren't in a serious relationship by then, considering your ethnicity and that you're the oldest son, I'm sure your parents will be driving you nuts about finding the right girl. Certainly my parents put the pressure on me! I wouldn't be surprised if marriage becomes less and less important, but I think the settling down bit will always be a big deal. It's pretty much biologically wired into us.


You know kieli, my parents haven't really put the pressure on me yet but I have a feeling they will at some point. They sometimes "hint" at it.

The whole irony of the parent situation, is when you're young they highly discourage dating, because they want us to stay in school and study hard.

The result is that we are raised up to be socially awkward people who have trouble fitting in with society. Parents have such a warped view on reality.

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paulpicks11

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 02:30 PM
What does it mean when it says, "There are syntax errors in your BBCode, please correct and resubmit?"

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Red (Moderator)

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 02:35 PM
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What does it mean when it says, "There are syntax errors in your BBCode, please correct and resubmit?"


It means your bbcode tags are not matched up correctly. Just remove all of them and resubmit.

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paulpicks11

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 09:34 PM

Excellent question, Red, especially considering many of the other related questions you've asked in other sleepcomics forums. But while I consider it to be an excellent question, I'm still a bit puzzled that you are the one posing it? Did you not say in another forum that you are not a normal person?. And if you are content with yourself for being "not a normal person" then why would you worry if it's normal for people NOT to get married? It would seem to me it would not matter to you whether it is normal or not, since you're content not to be normal, so why ask the question? Nevertheless, I'm glad you did. This, and all the other important questions you've bravely raised on this website, are deeply related to what this website is all about, and at the same time deeply related to what a well lived life is all about. Is it "normal" for people NOT to get married? This question allows no simple or easy answer. Obviously there have been many extraordinay persons throughout history who have lived great and highly productive lives who never married. Mother Theresa immediately comes to mind, but there indeed are many, many others. (Thomas Edison never married, and Pope John 23rd never did either) Were Mother Theresa, and those similar to her, "NORMAL"? I believe Mother Theresa was not "normal" and that was an important factor in her becoming truly great. Had she married, she might not have lived the life of self-giving love and healing that she did. She helped thousands who could not help themselves. Based on this consideration, and many other reasons I will not take the time to iterate, I'd say ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN IN ORDER TO BE NORMAL. To be "normal", to me, is to be one who sincerely tries to live a good life, and one who sincerely tries to make the world a better place. I simply do not subscribe to the philosophy "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we will die" -- even if these words do come from the Bible (Not everything in the Bible is equally important, useful or edifying) -- and this idea is one that is not, along with other such ideas as: "don't eat pork or shell fish; and stone women who commit adultery". No, I believe every person who lives should live not only for themselves, but to try to make the world a better place. That means doing, and not doing, such things that contribute to or detract from this. If everyone on the planet suddenly decided that getting married and having children was not what they wanted to do, simply because they wanted to seek pleasure and self-gratification, then children would cease being born, families would cease to form, and the human race would soon die.
I do not believe that that would be good. I agree that not everyone should or needs to get married and have children, but the choice not to do so should be based on the pursuit of trying to make the world a better place, not for the purpose of seeking self gratification or personal pleasure. And that's where our so called "sleepy fantasy" or "fetish" comes in.
In my own life, I did get married and have children - (I have 3 grown daughters in their 20's) and I did it without sacrificing my "sleepy" fantasy The bottom line to me is, every person should try to live a life that promotes the greater good, and no one should live a life that has a derogatory or destructive impact on the greater good. And while we do this we should have a good time in our spare time while doing it. It works for me.


Modified on: 2009-11-02 18:41:41
Red (Moderator)

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Post Date: Nov 02, 2009 11:43 PM
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The bottom line to me is, every person should try to live a life that promotes the greater good, and no one should live a life that has a derogatory or destructive impact on the greater good. And while we do this we should have a good time in our spare time while doing it. It works for me.



Whoaaa, long post. Adding to your point paul, I do think that my contribution to society is Sleepycomics.com. I hope this site lives forever and continues to grow, even after I am gone.

And running this site truly makes me happy! The joy of finding scenes, sharing them with everyone, creating artwork...what more could I ask for in life?

I run Sleepycomics.com
paulpicks11

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Post Date: Nov 04, 2009 09:47 AM
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Quote:

The bottom line to me is, every person should try to live a life that promotes the greater good, and no one should live a life that has a derogatory or destructive impact on the greater good. And while we do this we should have a good time in our spare time while doing it. It works for me.



Whoaaa, long post. Adding to your point paul, I do think that my contribution to society is Sleepycomics.com. I hope this site lives forever and continues to grow, even after I am gone.

And running this site truly makes me happy! The joy of finding scenes, sharing them with everyone, creating artwork...what more could I ask for in life?


YOU GO, MY FRIEND!! KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!!

paulpicks11

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Post Date: Nov 04, 2009 11:45 AM
I would like to add one more idea to this excellent discussion. And before adding it, I want to say that, Red, you have come up with some very important issues on these forums. I sense in your questions a yearning for knowledge, wisdom and understanding -- far above the normal. You seem to have a yearning to know all one can know about fetishes, God, one's self perception, dating, marriage, normalcy, politics and so on. I can't help but feel these questions stem from a certain curiosity and possibly even anxiety you may have about your fascination with and love of DID art. Why do those of us who have this fascination love it so much? Does our fascination make us abnormal or worse weird?? You have chosen to use this excellent comic-book website as a means to open up this discussion, and gather wisdom. No other DID website does this that I know of, and I would like to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH and give you a great big high five for it. I suspect all of us who have this fascination have had times when we wondered about ourselves and had self-doubt and even guilt feelings about it. Several of those who have posted have already said as much.

Now to the main point I wanted to make, and please bear with me, all my friends tell me I am long-winded, as you already know. My main point is this, and I have never said anything more sincere or truthful about myself: THE HAPPIEST YEARS OF MY LIFE WERE WHEN ALL MY CHILDREN WERE UNDER 10 YEARS OF AGE, LIVING WITH THEIR MOTHER AND ME - THEIR FATHER, AS A FAMILY. Maybe there are others who will disagree with this, but I feel like being in a loving family with a wife, children, and even pets (2 dogs and a cat in our case) is the key to personal fulfillment and happiness. If nothing else goes on my tombstone, then be sure to put these words, "HERE LIES PAUL, HE RAISED A FAMILY AND LOVED, AND WAS LOVED BY, THEM VERY MUCH." All humans want to have some meaning and purpose in their lives besides "he was here and he ate drank and made merry" and this has been mine. Perhaps one size does not fit all, but for me my DID fantasy is my secondary occupation, not my primary one. My primary purpose has been in producing and living in a loving family. Nuff said.

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