Another Post Where I Look at my Life
Oct 14, 2007 10:14 PM
My latest update contains two Black Canary KO's from World's Finest #248 and #262. I also added two other scenes.
So it seems like I have sort of lost interest in sleepy stuff, but that's not really true. It still crosses my mind daily. I'm just so busy and I am coming across less and less material. Some people sent me some cool scans though. I just don't have the fire in me to look for sleepy scenes anymore. It's so hard to update this site because, well, I don't know what to talk about. I don't want to talk too much about my life, but even my life is boring as hell.
Yeah, I am still seeing that girl; R.E. is her name. Remember how I told you she has a boyfriend already? Despite that, we still hang out. On Tuesday I bought her lunch and we went to her place. We listened to music and played DDR. Today she also called me. I wish I knew what was going through her mind. Maybe she actually loves me, but is too afraid to break up with her current boyfriend. Maybe she just wants a close friend. I wish I knew her motivations for calling me and hanging out with me. Is it because she is lonely? She tells me that most of the time she just sits in her room and plays World of Warcraft. Whenever I see her she is just by herself. When she is not playing video games usually she is sleeping. She told me how she slept for 24 hours straight yesterday.
I admit, I am attracted to her. I can't stop thinking about her. But, I know I will probably never HAVE her. And whenever that crosses my mind, it's so depressing because me and her are like a perfect match. In all the years of my life I have never gotten this close to a girl. Sometimes, it gets so depressing to the point where I want to go buy some alcohol and just drink my problems away. But a few things are stopping me:
One, I am not 21 yet.
And two, my life is like perfect right now. Even though I am kind of lonely in life, my life fucking rocks. I have everything I could possibly want. I have a job, a bright future, superfast internet, an Xbox 360 with Guitar Hero II (and Halo 3), a 22 inch HD monitor, a successful website, and fantastic juggling skills. I have all these things, who cares if I don't have a REAL girlfriend right now? One day, I will be so freaking rich and successful girls will be begging to go out with me. Love is something you can't really predict. It's something that just happens naturally I guess.
One day I will look back on my blog posts and laugh at how naive I was. I like girls alright, but I think I enjoy watching them sleep more.
So it seems like I have sort of lost interest in sleepy stuff, but that's not really true. It still crosses my mind daily. I'm just so busy and I am coming across less and less material. Some people sent me some cool scans though. I just don't have the fire in me to look for sleepy scenes anymore. It's so hard to update this site because, well, I don't know what to talk about. I don't want to talk too much about my life, but even my life is boring as hell.
Yeah, I am still seeing that girl; R.E. is her name. Remember how I told you she has a boyfriend already? Despite that, we still hang out. On Tuesday I bought her lunch and we went to her place. We listened to music and played DDR. Today she also called me. I wish I knew what was going through her mind. Maybe she actually loves me, but is too afraid to break up with her current boyfriend. Maybe she just wants a close friend. I wish I knew her motivations for calling me and hanging out with me. Is it because she is lonely? She tells me that most of the time she just sits in her room and plays World of Warcraft. Whenever I see her she is just by herself. When she is not playing video games usually she is sleeping. She told me how she slept for 24 hours straight yesterday.
I admit, I am attracted to her. I can't stop thinking about her. But, I know I will probably never HAVE her. And whenever that crosses my mind, it's so depressing because me and her are like a perfect match. In all the years of my life I have never gotten this close to a girl. Sometimes, it gets so depressing to the point where I want to go buy some alcohol and just drink my problems away. But a few things are stopping me:
One, I am not 21 yet.
And two, my life is like perfect right now. Even though I am kind of lonely in life, my life fucking rocks. I have everything I could possibly want. I have a job, a bright future, superfast internet, an Xbox 360 with Guitar Hero II (and Halo 3), a 22 inch HD monitor, a successful website, and fantastic juggling skills. I have all these things, who cares if I don't have a REAL girlfriend right now? One day, I will be so freaking rich and successful girls will be begging to go out with me. Love is something you can't really predict. It's something that just happens naturally I guess.
One day I will look back on my blog posts and laugh at how naive I was. I like girls alright, but I think I enjoy watching them sleep more.
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Drink when you're 21... Pff... I started at 14 with my first beers and shots...
Zhuge Liang:
I read your comment, the whole thing. You have some pretty damn good advice. I don't know where exactly her boyfriend is from (she's also from NJ), but I don't really care. I don't want to know who he is, because he is not a part of my life. It's complicated, but you know what? Stuff like this makes life interesting.
I read your comment, the whole thing. You have some pretty damn good advice. I don't know where exactly her boyfriend is from (she's also from NJ), but I don't really care. I don't want to know who he is, because he is not a part of my life. It's complicated, but you know what? Stuff like this makes life interesting.
I'm just curious for my sake. Like I said, I doubt I know the guy (or her, for that matter), but every time I hear about somebody from NJ, I never pass up on the chance to see if I've ever known them.
I still think you are wasting time. Make a gentlemanly move. If she responds, great; if not, accept it graciously, remain friends - but DON'T spend all your time with her. Keep your eyes open for other girls and learn to flirt without falling in love with every girl you meet.
You will be more attractive to women overall if you learn to take a "No" with a smile and move on. If R.E. is not going to be a girlfriend for you, then she is keeping you from finding one who will. Not that you have to have just one girlfriend unless you really click with one.
If you hang with this girl and don't make a move, then she's basically going to take you for granted. She may well sabotage shots you have with other girls because she wants you as an option, but wants you to just hang around while she decides. Or worse, doesn't....
You will be more attractive to women overall if you learn to take a "No" with a smile and move on. If R.E. is not going to be a girlfriend for you, then she is keeping you from finding one who will. Not that you have to have just one girlfriend unless you really click with one.
If you hang with this girl and don't make a move, then she's basically going to take you for granted. She may well sabotage shots you have with other girls because she wants you as an option, but wants you to just hang around while she decides. Or worse, doesn't....
My friend, I can't tell you what to do. My suggestion is to take it one day at a time. Maybe hint at how you feel, even jokingly and see how she responds. Just remember, you are still young and there are plenty of fish in the sea. The problem is she maybe right in front of you and you don't want to scare her away. Whatever you do, good luck.
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Zhuge_Liang
Oct 15, 2007
But take heart, my son. I had a suspicion that you would return seeking "R.E.", and I do believe now is a time to boost your morale.
Red, your mind continues to wander to her because you two share the same proximity, and your energies constantly intermingle. Not only that, but you two seem absolutely compadible. I can imagine that, for you, she seems like the prize waiting to be taken -- yet when you bring in the negative factors into the equation, she suddenly seems like the prize too distant to claim.
In your case, I would also say that the problem seems to be a fear of loss. "R.E." is the first girl you have ever gotten this close to, and with what seems to be the only chance to get a girlfriend (or, in reality, the only chance you've had thus far to get a girlfriend) in sight, there might appear to be a great deal to lose. Yet, on the other hand, you express the fact that one of the concerns you hold for making a move is a compromise of your "perfect life". True, you did not outright say you feared your current life to be in jeopardy, but if you should bring up your daily affairs in opposition to seeking "R.E.", then...well, what more needs to be said?
And, to be honest, your concerns are well-placed. Let's call this like it is: a girlfriend has the potential to make a perfect life better, but can also destroy your life and make you miserable -- for a time, that is. If a girl turns out to be someone or something you did not expect, days of misery could lie in your future.
But, in truth, you stand to lose absolutely nothing. Read back at my previous advice to you; I've given you all the tools and directions you need to prevent from making a misjudgement about a person. When you are truly in a situation where you could lose something, you will have the power to prevent it. But in this case, you're not even risking anything at all.
Red, you are surrounded by women right now. There is no better place to find a girlfriend to fit any requirement or need for you than college. As long as you keep your eyes open, put yourself out there, and act smart, you will have yourself a girlfriend without any chance of failure. Right now, the only thing that falls on you is to make a choice.
Pursue "R.E.", or don't. If you think long and hard on it, and use what I taught you before to truly weigh and consider it, the choice you make will be the right one, and bring you happiness. It doesn't matter whether you choose her or not -- as long as you make a meditated and fully-comprehended decision, fortune will follow you. But in order to make the right decision of if you should go after her or not, then you must learn her thoroughally, just like I said before. Spend all the time in the world with her and pick up on every quirk and detail that you can, and compare them with your own. You have to be able to see through both her eyes and yours simultaneously. For, as we all know, a relationship requires two people. One is not enough.
Your age shouldn't be a factor, by the way. Incidentally, I find that people who drink, even casually, either have or develop some negative traits -- the type that make or break relationships. Of course, that much is my opinion and the outlook of character traits varies from person to person. Still, I thought you might be able to use such a caution.
Still, whatever the case may be, do not stop being "R.E."'s friend on account of all what's in your head. There's a good chance, in fact, that the same level of uncertainly and confusion is running in her head as well, complicated by her long-distance boyfriend. Of course, if you want to find out what's in her head, just spend time with her and do not skip out on reading between the lines with her. You'll learn what's in her head soon enough. And that, too, will help you make a decision.
I would also like to tell you that your view on love is only somewhat correct. Love is as unpredictable as life is. Sometimes things happen that we don't expect for reasons that we don't understand. And very often love happens naturally. But love is a very predictable thing for those who have the patience and the practice to read it. When you find a person you can become close to, you can read and gauge them, and be able to predict love as it comes. And very often another person's love is predicted by measuring your own. If you care about someone and truly feel that they might be someone to you, there is a chance that the feeling is mutual. But in the cases that it might not be, you have to learn to be able to read between the lines and remain aware of your surroundings. That way, you can predict love. Sun Tzu said "know your enemy and yourself, and you have nothing to fear from 100 battles". You would do well to remember that always.
I e-mailed you a few times before. If you ever have need to ask specific questions, or would ever like me to elaborate on anything I say -- or anything that is said -- or have any issues that arise that you would like advise to manage, feel free to drop me a line. To be able to guide someone in life -- no matter how minutely -- brings me great satisfaction, and I enjoy to use this talent to better those around me. You, my friend, are welcome to use my talents.
I will leave my comment on a somewhat queer note. You say "R.E."'s boyfriend is from New Jersey? Is there any way you could find out where in New Jersey he lives? I doubt I know the guy or have ever met him, but I ask because I, too, am from New Jersey, and I never pass on an opportunity to see just how small the world is.